Sex Therapy in Show Low & the White Mountains
Sex is one of the most vulnerable parts of a relationship, and one of the hardest to talk about. Whether desire has faded, shame gets in the way, or trust has been broken, sex therapy offers a warm, professional, judgment-free place to understand what's happening and find your way back to pleasure and closeness. I work with couples and individuals in Show Low, across Arizona's White Mountains, and online throughout Arizona and Missouri.
When one of you wants sex more than the other
Mismatched desire is one of the most common reasons couples come to me. It's rarely about attraction or love. The partner who wants more feels rejected. The partner who wants less feels pressured. Both end up lonely. We stop treating it as a problem someone has to win, and start understanding what each body needs in order to feel safe and open.
Sleep, stress and midlife changes
Years of short sleep, long hours and constant demands keep the nervous system activated. In that state the body prioritizes survival, not closeness. Changes in energy, mood, sleep and body that arrive in midlife can add to it, and can leave partners misreading each other: one hears rejection, the other feels pressure. We look at what's happening in your bodies and in your relationship together, and I'll encourage you to work with your medical provider on anything physical.
What we work on
Mismatched desire. One partner wants more, one wants less, and both feel hurt.
Desire that has disappeared. Understanding why wanting feels out of reach, even when you love your partner.
Sexual shame. Messages from upbringing or past experiences that make sex feel wrong or anxious.
Pornography concerns. Understanding porn use in a relationship, and repairing the trust it may have affected.
Intimacy after betrayal. Rebuilding physical closeness after an affair or broken trust.
Reconnecting with your body. Moving from pressure and performance toward presence and pleasure.
Hormonal changes. Perimenopause and menopause can cause changes within the relationship.
Desire isn't gone, it's hard to reach
My doctoral research focuses on how desire depends on state: whether your body feels safe, rested and connected enough for wanting to arise. Many people who believe they have "no sex drive" discover their capacity for desire is intact. It's simply hard to access under stress, resentment or shame. That shift alone often brings enormous relief.
How sex therapy works
Sex therapy is talk therapy. There is no touch or physical activity in session. We talk openly, learn how desire and arousal work, explore what gets in the way, and you may try gentle, private exercises at home at your own pace. When helpful, I coordinate with your medical providers.
My training
I'm an Arizona Licensed Clinical Social Worker and PhD candidate in Clinical Sexology, researching somatic sexology under the supervision of world renowned Dr. Holly Richmond, PhD, CST. I'm writing a training book for therapists, The State-Dependent Model of Sexual Desire.
Sex therapy in the White Mountains
Many people assume they have to drive to Phoenix for sex therapy. You don't. In-person sessions are at my private Show Low office, serving Pinetop-Lakeside, Snowflake, Taylor and Heber-Overgaard. For extra privacy, many clients choose online sessions from home.
Sex therapy questions
Is sex therapy physical? No. Sex therapy is talk therapy. Nothing physical happens in session.
Do we have to come as a couple? No. Many people come individually, especially when working on shame, desire or their relationship with their body.
Can sex therapy respect my faith? Yes. We work within your values, at a pace and level of detail that feels right to you.
Will this be awkward? Most people feel nervous at first. I keep conversations warm, matter-of-fact and led by your comfort, and most clients relax quickly.